Showing posts with label Art. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Art. Show all posts

Monday, 11 December 2017

Ib & Ob: Cultural Misfeeds


Ib: I took it off the subspecies, it was pointing it at one of the smaller quadrupeds, at first I thought it was trying to feed it but there was a sudden flash and the quadruped exploded.

Ob: It exploded?

Ib: Yes, there was just blood and pieces of organic matter everywhere.  Then I realised it probably had teleported and left its waste product behind.

Ob: You mean like the Haxians on Phew 4 and I thought those hexipods were unique.

Ib: I think the smell was definitely unique, it took me ages to get rid of it from the ship.

Ob: I agree that is one planet I never intend to visit again, their waste product ate through three of my environment suits.

Ib: As far as I can tell this tube does not contain anything organic just metal parts.

Ob: Well put it in the relic room for now and when we get back it can be more thoroughly investigated.

Ib: Fine. I will just put my lunch into...

Ob: Hold on a moment we have not got enough evidence yet to say that your lunch is not intelligent.

Ib: What? You said the quadrupeds were the intelligent species, make your mind up.

Ob: I said it was a theory besides some of the probes have come back with some interesting results which suggest my theory might be need adjusting.

Ib: Really?

Ob: Less of the orb rolling please, I suggest you put your lunch back where you found it.  Ship's ration packs will have to suffice for now.

Ib: You did not look at the eat by h-jump of those ration packs did you, they are only good for nine hyper jumps.  It will be like eating Haxian leftovers.

Ob: Just get rid of the subspecies and I will tell what the probes have found.

Ib: Okay give me a panug to put it in the teleport.  I might point out that there are some scorch marks around the pads.

Ob: It will be fine what could possibly go wrong.

Ib:  Really what about the T'ra incident?

Ob:  I was absolved any wrong doing, it was not my fault that the locals were well...primitive.

Ib: So primitive in fact that they managed to enter your personal code into the your game slab without even getting it wrong at least once.

Ob: Chance happens in the strangest of places besides it do not impinge much on their society.

Ib: Much! The people of T'ra 9 were considered to be the greatest primitive architects and artists in four galactic sectors.  Their culture was unblemished by any space faring species until you joined the expedition.

Ob: I seemed to remember you asked me along on that trip so you are partly responsible.  I do not know why you asked me, I have never liked art.

Ib: I am curious as to why your game slab was set to expand so large in the first place?

Ob: Do not you not remember I had entered the Battle Sims for the next day on one of the larger moons, I was going to use the slab as a defensive wall.

Ib: A wall that reached all the way into space?

Ob: Well I had miscalculated a bit but as it turned out it was quite fortunate for the locals since the expedition had time to stop it from flattening their capital city.  Barely any harm done whatsoever.

Ib: Except for the part whereby the locals now worship the Great Black Rectangle and all their buildings are rectangular not a single curve in sight.  You wiped out the most artistic primitive culture in the galaxy.

Ob: Well it is all particles under the ion grill now. Set your coordinates and send it back.

Ib: Fine, tell me what the probes results were?

Tuesday, 14 March 2017

Live from Wolf Lunar News 29 days, 12 hours and 44 minutes Every Day



Coming to you from Selene City the only city on the Lunar surface, I'm Wolfgang G. Smythe your host for today.  If you recognise the name that is because my father is infamously known for traveling the one mile stretch of Thunder Road alive for a blonde lass who eventually bore me.  Mom emigrated once she had me as far as away as possible and here we are on the Moon.  Well that's my life in an empty O2 tank lets move on with today's news!

...the land is covered in different kinds of rock, red, yellow, green...Don't worry folks the shielding has not gone on my dome I was just reciting from Jeff Wayne's Musical The War of the Worlds which I am sure you are all aware is going to be the opening spectacle of the 25th Anniversary Selene City Gala on the Mare Serenitatis or those of you that do not speak dead languages like Latin the Sea of Serenity.  From what I hear they have remastered the 2D stage performances into the new solid 3D it is going to knock your O2 tube clean off.  Plus they has messed with the story line a little to include the Dwells and the Greys and that is exactly how conspiracy theories get started, more on that later.

The Gala is taking in place in the recently finished Retrograde Art Installation Flare!  Which does not only house the The War of the Worlds exhibit but many others including H.P. Lovecraft's The Call of Cthulhu and my inside sources tell me that they will be handing out the Red Capsules for a ride that literally loses your mind!  Apparently red capsules are bad for you but they said that about Black and Blue meats.

The tickets are all sold but you can still watch the event live from dome.

The latest from the Earth bound conspiracy theorists is that Jane Everfall is in league with the Dwells and the Greys, they have secret base on the dark side. Well I have been to the dark side on a number of occasions and guys there is absolutely nothing there aside from the DSO, it is quite dark though.

Jane Everfall CEO of Portal Industries is not only one of the founding fathers of Selene City along the Russian and Chinese contingents but has made Selene City self-sufficient.  Jane Everfall is Supreme!

We are the Federation! No Conspiracy Here!

There have been rumours floating through the airlocks about a D-Shift on the dark side but you know what they say about rumours...there just rumours.

More laters...