Ib & Ob: Cultural Misfeeds

Ib: I took it off the subspecies, it was pointing it at one of the smaller quadrupeds, at first I thought it was trying to feed it but there was a sudden flash and the quadruped exploded.

Ob: It exploded?

Ib: Yes, there was just blood and pieces of organic matter everywhere.  Then I realised it probably had teleported and left its waste product behind.

Ob: You mean like the Haxians on Phew 4 and I thought those hexipods were unique.

Ib: I think the smell was definitely unique, it took me ages to get rid of it from the ship.

Ob: I agree that is one planet I never intend to visit again, their waste product ate through three of my environment suits.

Ib: As far as I can tell this tube does not contain anything organic just metal parts.

Ob: Well put it in the relic room for now and when we get back it can be more thoroughly investigated.

Ib: Fine. I will just put my lunch into...

Ob: Hold on a moment we have not got enough evidence yet to say that your lunch is not intelligent.

Ib: What? You said the quadrupeds were the intelligent species, make your mind up.

Ob: I said it was a theory besides some of the probes have come back with some interesting results which suggest my theory might be need adjusting.

Ib: Really?

Ob: Less of the orb rolling please, I suggest you put your lunch back where you found it.  Ship's ration packs will have to suffice for now.

Ib: You did not look at the eat by h-jump of those ration packs did you, they are only good for nine hyper jumps.  It will be like eating Haxian leftovers.

Ob: Just get rid of the subspecies and I will tell what the probes have found.

Ib: Okay give me a panug to put it in the teleport.  I might point out that there are some scorch marks around the pads.

Ob: It will be fine what could possibly go wrong.

Ib:  Really what about the T'ra incident?

Ob:  I was absolved any wrong doing, it was not my fault that the locals were well...primitive.

Ib: So primitive in fact that they managed to enter your personal code into the your game slab without even getting it wrong at least once.

Ob: Chance happens in the strangest of places besides it do not impinge much on their society.

Ib: Much! The people of T'ra 9 were considered to be the greatest primitive architects and artists in four galactic sectors.  Their culture was unblemished by any space faring species until you joined the expedition.

Ob: I seemed to remember you asked me along on that trip so you are partly responsible.  I do not know why you asked me, I have never liked art.

Ib: I am curious as to why your game slab was set to expand so large in the first place?

Ob: Do not you not remember I had entered the Battle Sims for the next day on one of the larger moons, I was going to use the slab as a defensive wall.

Ib: A wall that reached all the way into space?

Ob: Well I had miscalculated a bit but as it turned out it was quite fortunate for the locals since the expedition had time to stop it from flattening their capital city.  Barely any harm done whatsoever.

Ib: Except for the part whereby the locals now worship the Great Black Rectangle and all their buildings are rectangular not a single curve in sight.  You wiped out the most artistic primitive culture in the galaxy.

Ob: Well it is all particles under the ion grill now. Set your coordinates and send it back.

Ib: Fine, tell me what the probes results were?

Ib & Ob: The 70th Anniversary

Ib: We have established orbit round the third planet in this system.

Ob: Good, now we...

Ib: Wait a panug, have not we been here before?

Ob: As I was about to explain before you interrupted, it has been seventy cycles of this planet since we were last here.  During your 'Everything is a joke phase.'

Ib: That was not a phase, everything is a joke.  Like your face that is a joke too.

Ob: Let us not start that again, your so called joke seventy cycles ago nearly got us throw out of the science club.

Ib: Like I ever wanted to be in the club in the first place!  Admit it your face is a joke, I mean who wears green with grey anymore?

Ob: I seem to remember you begging me to come along on this trip, said you were bored with Grey World.

Ib: Fine, fine. Carry on. Why are we here again?

Ob: To prove to those purple monopods in the club that my theories about the dominate species on this planet are correct.

Ib: Purple Monopods! Your language has taken a turn for the worst.

Ob: They think in circles, makes my orbs spin.  Please do not roll your orbs like that, remember we did eat well last time we were here.

Ib: True, I admit you had me with Purple Monopods.  What is your plan?

Ob: You take the shuttle down and record the northern hemisphere whilst I dropped some probes into key locations.

Ib: Why is it I am always the one in the shuttle and your up here safe from the locals?

Ob: You keep telling me that you are the best pilot in the galaxy, I thought would enjoy it.

Ib: Purple Monopods! How about you tell me your current theories then I will know what to look for when I down there?

Ob:That is a good idea.

Ib: You do realise it is rude to spin your orbs vertically?

Ob: Your the only one that thinks that.

Ib: That is because I know it is your expression of surprise.

Ob: Alright, I will not spin them again. Happy now?

Ib: Yes, tell me your theory.

Ob: I think the quadrupeds are the dominant species.

Ib: What! No! But we drained them on our last visit for cocktails.  Are you sure?

Ob: I seem to remember that you had four or was it five cocktails and you had the left over heads in a sandwich.

Ib: Your telling me I ate intelligent life forms, your talking about the ones with the mono-tonal language that you could not translate? This is a joke right?

Ob: Yes those are ones.  The others in the club think the bipedal life forms are the intelligent ones but I think not.

Ib: By the Moons of Gugt, I am hoping you are wrong.  What is your evidence?

Ob: The bipedal subspecies spend most of their time in metal boxes which have four spinning wheels, I am calling it my theory of four.  Catchy title right?

Ib: That is not evidence that is a leap to a completely different tangent.

Ob: There is more to the theory, I think the subspecies worship the quadrupeds because everything they build has four wheels.  Also the subspecies do all the work whilst the quadrupeds spent all their time at leisure in the open countryside and the subspecies bring them food.  It all works out.

Ib: If it all works out what are we doing here exactly?

Ob:  Well I need more evidence to present to the club.

Ib: Are you sure you have not been drinking Orion Moon Dust Particles again?

Ob: You said you would never mention that incident again?

Ib: Technically I do not mention the incident just the cause.  Fine I will take the shuttle down but if the subspecies are not intelligent does that mean I get take some for a snack on the way back. You know how Hyper jumps make me hungry.

Ob: Of course I would not expect anything less of you.

Ib: You turned away so I could not see your orbs?

Why?

That age old question of Why? Why are we here?  Since the earliest days of humanity we have wondered why.  Even in this day and age there is no answer to the question and without that answer nothing really make sense other than what science has managed to discover so far.  Although science is more about the How and the What as opposed to the Why.

Even without the science of today early people solved this question by creating a workaround, we know it as Religion.  It solves so many problems, you don’t have to worry about the why anymore that is in the purview of the Gods or God depending upon your belief system.  They know all the answers or it’s their fault either way it is beyond our understanding therefore we do not need to know.

Early beliefs system centered around the Mother Earth, the Goddess (female) was more important than the God (male) primarily because females could create the miracle of life.  Later that changed and the Goddess’s were knocked off their thrones and it became a man’s world.  After that Religion went downhill somewhat to the point where it became more about the control of its subjects/believers than about providing answers to difficult questions.  Dogma has ruled ever since and the only new ideas are violent ones subverting what started out as peaceful systems of belief.  Throughout history Religion has been the prime excuse for violence/war/terror imagine what history would have been like if the question had never been asked or that Religion was never considered as an option.

Even if you do not have any religious beliefs you are still aware of the idea effectively Religion is the ultimate meme it has always been with us lurking in our memories.

Consider a thought experiment:

Perhaps our existence is not real but a simulation (see The Thirteenth Floor) then the answer to the question is simple and many of the gaps in science start to make sense as well (all that missing matter for instance).  No requirement for Religion at all.

Whether this life is real or not there is one simple truth to it which people never seem to get:

Life is hard!  Get over it!

Everything is hard the first time round, next time it is a little easier.

An easy life is boring which breeds stagnation and that is a killer to any civilization.

The upshot is that the answer to the question is that either it is very simple (seemed like a good idea at the time) or that it is incompatible with our current world view so it becomes unknowable.

The irony is we have created far harder lives for ourselves over a simple question.

Note: I do love the synchronicity of me coming across the following article on The Register.

Tied & Knotted

My pet hate is Neckties, a men's fashion that should of gone out with flares.  I hated wearing a tie in school not to mention it is somewhat dangerous. I mean come on who thought it would be a good idea to wrap a a piece of cloth round one's neck with a slip knot commonly used to hang people with?

I'm not the only one that thinks this: Question Everything?

Okay a little heavy on the sauce but you get my drift.

It is like Superheroes and capes pretty much the kiss of death, 32.5 people die every year from wearing a necktie.  I can only assume they brought back only 0.5 of person to get that figure, probably because the necktie was still attached.

Apparently we can blame the Chinese for this ludicrous idea, ta very much NOT!  Looks like the rest of world cloned your idea for a change and ironically a stupid one at that.

The following businesses: Google, Amazon, Apple and Ikea have banned neckties in their offices and promoted casual wear instead. They want their staff to feel relaxed and open caused that's when good ideas pop into the grey matter above their unrestricted necks.  Probably saves on higher life insurances premiums too. 

These businesses make oodles of cash based upon ideas invented by their staff which basically tells you neckties are evil to every other business out there that forces their staff to wear them, of course I maybe generalising like I always do.

The irony is that nowadays I just wear a polo shirt to work, I will no longer wear tie for anything.

Recursion see recursion

Here's a mind bending thought experiment for you to think about.

They say that when you die your life flashes before you, what if your current life is actually your real life flashing before you.

What happens when you get to end does it start all over again in a never ending loop?